I’ll never forget the way you look at me when I come home from work. Most of the time I have to come through the door and search through a few rooms before I find you, sitting quietly in front of your bookshelf in the living room with a mountain of books growing from the floor. You look up and instantly everything in your face lights up.

Jude! I missed you!

You let out a squeal of delight and come crawling towards me at lightening fast speed so that before I know it, you’ve crawled up my legs and are looking at me with the biggest smile and four out of your six teeth on proud display. All of the wear and tear from the day, all of the worries and the deadlines, they all disappear in that one moment and in their place my beating heart is sending a quick message up to my brain:

THIS BABY IS MY SON AND HE LOVES ME.

Not a week goes by without me being blown away by the fact that I was chosen to be your momma. That ten years ago, I was this silly and stupid little baby-adult, blundering through life and worrying about where my next money for gas was going to come from. I could barely handle my own life but now here I am, your mom, and I have been put in charge of your life.

It’s so cheesy to say this but all the roads that led me to you, all the heartache and pain and mistakes that I made, they were all worth it for this life and the chance to come home to you at the end of my day and be loved so uninhibited….all because I walked through the door.